I'm going to say first of all that I am extremely happy and excited about the wedding..I can't sleep because I can't wait to get my dress tomorrow (today now because it's after midnight).
I'm still feeling down. There's nothing in particular that is causing me to feel this way, but lately I just feel sad. I start crying randomly, and I just feel so BLAH
I need to stop letting myself get into these lows..I'm starting to isolate myself again, and I feel horrible for it. Taylor has invited me to do a million things, and I always decline...why? Because I'm stupid I guess..I dunno, I get into a low and I isolate myself from everyone. -shrugs- I'm worried about not fitting in, saying something stupid, etc. Social anxiety much?
I want to be involved in so many things, but I have this huge fear of saying/doing something wrong and looking like an idiot.
I feel like I just don't fit in anywhere, so I don't even bother trying.
Crying again..wtf is wrong with me..I just wish I could be fucking normal!
About Me
- Mel
- Barrie, Ontario, Canada
- Crunchy mama to 3 beautiful kids: Nick 7yrs, Noah 4yrs (almost), and Ainsley 5months. I am married to the world's greatest guy (in my opinion) Joe..I found love with him at one of the lowest points in my life, and I plan to never let him go. We were married September 16th, 2007 Writing is my outlet for when I'm feeling overwhelmed by the world.
3 comments:
Helllooo! just so you know! Im still here, and reading :) It's not as easy to post a comment on this bloggy, so you'll probably have less from me, but Im here! I cant wait for the wedding pictures, and SHOW US THE DRESS! YAY! :)
~AshieRoo
*HUGS*
I know how you feel. Only way to get out of it is to just DO IT. Stop making excuses and just come out and meet the people I've met. It'll be awkward at first - it ALWAYS is. But the sooner you get it over with, the sooner it'll become comfortable and you'll have plenty of people to relate to.
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